Why I Hate Podcasts

Let me be absolutely clear that I hate podcasts. All of them. There’s not a single one I’ve listened to without regretting it halfway through. I don’t care if it’s business advice, self-help, casual banter, or an “intimate conversation about the human experience.” It’s all the same recycled noise which is just packaged with a different sophisticated buzzword.

Every podcast seems to follow the same formula: people with microphones, zero preparation, and an inflated sense of importance. They talk in circles, state the obvious facts like it’s groundbreaking, and then throw in a sponsored ad pretending to care about your sleep quality. If I wanted to hear unqualified opinions, I’d scroll through YouTube comments.

I am sure we all have noticed the way they say things. Everyone sounds like they’re about to share something really important but then they just say stuff like, 'Success isn’t a straight path.' Wow, thanks. I’ll remember that forever.

Even the so-called “positive” podcasts aren’t safe. They just disguise their emptiness in random talking and soft piano music. It’s still just noise, but with fake positivity instead of plain sadness.

But the worst ones? The ones that want to be labelled as deep, intellectual discussions. We all know the flow that starts from a slow intro, a quote from some philosopher they probably Googled five minutes before recording, and then 45 minutes of vague half-cooked thoughts that go nowhere. It’s like listening to a college essay that never got beyond the rough draft.

People tell me, “You just haven’t found the right podcast yet.” No, I’ve found them. Too many. And they all end the same way "me, wishing I had used that time to do literally anything else. Like stare at a wall or continue my coding".

In a world full of creators, thinkers, and storytellers, podcasts somehow manage to take all that potential and turn it into background noise for people pretending to be productive. I don’t need to hear strangers talk for 90 minutes about why everything is awful or how they “finally stopped caring what people think.” Trust me, I can tell.

So yes, I hate podcasts. All of them. And if you ever catch me starting one, please remind me of this blog and tell me to chill instead.